PROBLEMS MONEY PROBLEMS so many problems happen all of a sudden how can i cope with it. my mum and i was the only pillar who is supporting the family what happen if my mum gone to the other world. how could i do to support the family am i going to give up my future just for the sake my family?

when i start thinking of this problems my tears started to drop. why my family is like that why can i have a family who willing to help to solve problems? my brother and my father have the same characters my father doesn't want to work because he is tire of it and want to relax but if want to relax must think how to save money as our family have money problems then come to my brother who has a lot of time at home and spent like 3 to 4 days in school why cant he spent the rest of the day not in school working part time to help support a bit of the family why he just keep spent the time playing computer games . i cried in the bus where i noe i will be crying i sat at the last sit. so that no one will noe that i am crying. then a thinking came to my mind which is what if i kill myself will the insurance that i have willing to pay the policy money to my family so that the money is enough to cover most or the things. well it does pay for the moeny if a person dies. the thing is will i have the couage to kill myself? that is the question?

but if i die my mom will bare the pain most and have to bare the heavy stone of the family. then i am useless my best friend will looked down on me because i kill myself due to this little thing.

i want to be like anyone else have a happy family, have time going out, have time to go find a girlfriend / wife. i dont want to spent all my time working like a slaves to money. i want the money to be the one growing not i keep increasing the time of work.