11.10.06 time: 1.03am

Yesterday I was surprise that a girl name Cheryl message me. At 1st I thought was my friend who use to work at RSH Tanglin Mall. In her message she wrote “hi I am Cheryl do u remember me?” I reply her “ya”. At 1st I never aspect is her cause when I gave her my handphone no. was 3 days ago and she never message me. So I thought she throw away my handphone no. but yesterday she message me and just now we just ended our chat online. But I we didn’t chat much as I don’t know what to ask her as I was scare that I will scare her if I suddenly asked her whether is she in a relationship already. I also don’t dare to tell her my age as I know girls who are far younger then me will not really like to chat with those a few age older than her.

I think I am losing out of confidents. Where has my confidents gone to? Is it because I have been rejected to many times that I have lost me confidents? What can I do to regain me confidents?

I don’t dare to ask my best friend and nether my ex about how can I change it so that I can regain my confidents again. Another thing is I can’t take it if I get rejected again. Why am I so scare of been rejected? As I often get rejects by this time I should have use to the feelings of been rejected by girls. As I can say I will give what ever I can to the girl I like in return of her hands to her heart. But this won’t happen if I keep getting rejects. Haha, why am I still torturing myself in getting a relationship? WHY?