hi Tuesday 22/04/08
Recently i felt sharp pain on my chest some times i hurt till u really want to digged out the heart just to easy the pain... i have been having this pain since i was a boy now have been worst... 天使say she keep hurting me so imy heart felt pain.... no no its not true this pain happens a lot of times but this few days really hurts a lot when i'm sleeping or even breathing...

i just got msg from her telling me to stop loving her because she doesnt want to hurt me.. she just wants to be alone, die alone... Why does everyone think this way when they are dieing... Why are they so selish why cant they let the person share the pain she is going through does she knows that like this she can hurt the person even more... She kept saying that why cant of think abt her feelings .. Does any know how she feels?? i do know how she feeling as she doesnt wants anyone to get hurt so she lock herself up lock her heart up... but does she knows that she unlocked the lock of my heart where i long lost the key to my heart... Does she know that? know why i didnt tell her as she will say i think too much... this sentence i hear too much le i felt tired sick of it...

I would make a guess that on my birthday she wont join me she will just avoid me or have me asking other people out too.... If this happen i think i rather go out myself let me go celebrate alone by myself...

Now when ever or what ever i am doing... the sharpest pain of my chest hurts like hell... i didnt even show it out on my face as i think there's no point of letting anyone know i'm in pain always shows smiles when ever or what ever happen... if sad i will just hide in one corner and cry till my eyes runs dry...