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Feeling headache and dizzy again… shit what to do? 2 days of MC and many plies of paper work to be done when I go back oh no hope when I go back… now in my mind all I can think of is her and what I can do is think of her… whenever I felt happy sad sick or stress I will think of her. Her face, her smile, her character which brings light to my dark heart and let me feel the warm again that I ever felt 2 years ago… she doesn’t know that I am sick.. Why she doesn’t know because to me I don’t want her to know as I don’t want her to think I am weak. I wanted to be strong in front of her and active but I don’t know why when in front of her I just kept quiet and kept looking at her when she talks to others is like I become another person which no one will understand why nor me… when I was with the rest if them I don’t feel like that but very happy person and funny guy… why is there two different types of personality in me the quiet type and the funny type?


I have a ring which I hope if she really can wear it as my girlfriend…..

Hope tomorrow I feel better…

and wish she will be mine...