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Hi it has been quite some time since I last wrote my blog.

This few weeks I having shoulder pain... My left shoulder muscle giving me a lot of pain I don’t know why but maybe is because I stress too much on the computer that my shoulder muscle starts to stress... hope tomorrow will be better I know on Friday I nearly cried due to the pain but now a bit better just that when apply a bit of pressure the pain will start…

Then come to the girl I like… I don’t know because I too stressing myself to find topics to talk to but like I was all the way very quiet like yesterday we are at the kopitam talking and my friends were disturbing her and with one of my friends cause both of them talks a lot to each other… so I was sitting there quietly listening to them then I was like a bit jealous because they were like quite close to each other and I was like thrown to a corner just listening to my friends making fun of them… my mood swing as I listen but I acted like nothing happen because I don’t want to spoilt their mood and also most of them doesn’t know that I like her… when at about 11+ we went home I took the train she too but on a different directions with my other friends so I went home on the way walking back I message her asking her have she reach home yet… and at the same time I message my friend who know that I like her… telling him that I think I and her doesn’t click with each other as most of them seem like she was better with my other friend who was being teased. I was very upsad... I went home took a quick bath and went to bed as I couldn’t take it anymore plus my shoulder starts to give me problems again throughout the night I was awake as I kept thinking of her… but I manage to fell asleep… the only thing that I really can see is in my dreams which I dream of me and her going out enjoying the things that we have done…. These afternoon when I was at work, and which I found out that she now doesn’t have any feeling for me nor anyone. As she is now not ready for any relationship plus maybe because I was rushing her but I am trying my best not to rush her and at the same time I was scare to loose her…….. HOW AND WHAT CAN I DO?

I don’t want to loose her and at the same time I don’t want to rush her but I wish on my birthday that day she can be my girlfriend as my birthday present I wont ask for more as I know what happen to my last relationship so I wouldn’t not do it again this time if she really become my girlfriend…

AM I REALLY STUPID? Even my best friend said I am a bit stupid in relationship? But do I really that weak in relationship? I wanted to have a girlfriend but ended up breaking up due to our character? I don’t want to have this kind of thing happen again as I am in very big pain due to this…. When I am in a relationship I will give her what I can give to make her happy and do the things which couple do to love each other this is my character… I hope she is the one I love and mean for each other…