040308
爱一个人好难 …. Is it really that hard to love a person? Or even fall in love with the person?
Or maybe it’s me she wants to escape, is it me that makes her scare/avoiding me? I think problems lies in me that makes them scared this is what I am, this is my character, does changing my character really works? Does making me just caring for myself, be stubborn, be selfish, be cruel, and be rude makes the person like me? If it really does then this I still won’t change as I don’t want to be like this just to let a person liked me because it isn’t me at all. I see other couples no matter how “ugly “ or “beng” they are. They still have a way to find one, for me I’m a below average looking person why is it so hard to find one.
I do have a lot of female friends but mostly are married or attached. They all say I am a nice guy and good looking but to me I think they are just making happy. Even a friend of mine who knows the girl I liked told me that I’m not suitable for her as there are better girls out there why her.
I have a lot of confidence in myself that I can make it but why I keep getting cold water all over from my friends, that makes me wonder are they supporting me or just want me to suffer? I had suffer enough really enough that I really want to just run away escape to a place where there is just me alone in complete darkness.
Am I suffering from depression again? Why I kept making myself having depression? How can I pull myself out from these problems?
I can handle most of the problems I’m facing but why comes to relationship I can’t get over with? Am I so emotional? Does digging out my heart really stop the emotion thing from happening to me or does running away from this problem really works?
If it does then I rather ask the JI terrorist who is now escaped in Singapore kill me so I can get out from this problem and let me suffer in hell because it’s no different in living.
Maybe it’s time for me to stop for a while or go for a holiday to forget and start a new leaf again with no emotion thing in my mind or heart.
爱一个人好难 …. Is it really that hard to love a person? Or even fall in love with the person?
Or maybe it’s me she wants to escape, is it me that makes her scare/avoiding me? I think problems lies in me that makes them scared this is what I am, this is my character, does changing my character really works? Does making me just caring for myself, be stubborn, be selfish, be cruel, and be rude makes the person like me? If it really does then this I still won’t change as I don’t want to be like this just to let a person liked me because it isn’t me at all. I see other couples no matter how “ugly “ or “beng” they are. They still have a way to find one, for me I’m a below average looking person why is it so hard to find one.
I do have a lot of female friends but mostly are married or attached. They all say I am a nice guy and good looking but to me I think they are just making happy. Even a friend of mine who knows the girl I liked told me that I’m not suitable for her as there are better girls out there why her.
I have a lot of confidence in myself that I can make it but why I keep getting cold water all over from my friends, that makes me wonder are they supporting me or just want me to suffer? I had suffer enough really enough that I really want to just run away escape to a place where there is just me alone in complete darkness.
Am I suffering from depression again? Why I kept making myself having depression? How can I pull myself out from these problems?
I can handle most of the problems I’m facing but why comes to relationship I can’t get over with? Am I so emotional? Does digging out my heart really stop the emotion thing from happening to me or does running away from this problem really works?
If it does then I rather ask the JI terrorist who is now escaped in Singapore kill me so I can get out from this problem and let me suffer in hell because it’s no different in living.
Maybe it’s time for me to stop for a while or go for a holiday to forget and start a new leaf again with no emotion thing in my mind or heart.
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