yesterday the whole day i was at hm i wanted to make chocolate to jiaxin and i did made but well i wanted to give to her and also mit her for dinner but she not free even on friday sat sun i cant coz i am working so cant mit her..... now i felt a bit left out coz i was to woo her but well she's still thinking of her prevous bf... and she noe i want to chase her but i think ended up her nxt bf wasnt be me ha ha ha isnt that funny i want to chase her and ended up she like some one else same goes for my past gals that i like... actually i want to use the chocolate to make for shiling coz nxt sat is her birthday but i think if i want to chase jiaxin i might as well use the chocolate to make for jiaxin.

the chocolate is now in my freezer and i havnt pack it in to a box coz i felt that if i made and give it to her she still wont like me she will treat me as a friend more that a someone who wants to chase her why is every one i like think of this way i erally want to find soemone i can company with for my rest of my life and no one gives me a chance why is it so is it my 1st impression that leaves them so bad...

WHY DOES PPL WANTED TO LOOK FOR 5C RATHER THEN LOOKING FOR REAL LOVE?

saturday i went out with jiaxin and roslan coz jiaxin juz broke off with her bf so feeling abit upsad so we company her to see a movie and then went to have a drink well i dont really like to drink but for her i have to drink a little both of them drank about 2 mug and i juz 1 mug tats gd oready... i and jiaxin we both sang a song from willam su and kit chan its a couple song... so we sang then abt 1145pm we went hm i sent jiaxin hm on the way i ask her if i can be her bf but well its nt the answer i want to hear somemore coz she is still recovering from her heart pain so she told me to give her some time to recover and think abt it so i give her time but i noe the chance wouldnt come to my turn coz i do some thinking.... and i use the poker cards to test if i had faith with her and the card told me that she is not the 1 i am waiting for.... or the 1 i am goin to spent my life with.... but i'm willing to give it a try...

even tro i am the person who noe 1 will like to fall in love with... and i trust my feelings i noe tat if she has recover from her heart pain i wont be the 1 she wants to have to be her bf coz she noe my past...

FINISH EXAMS LOR!!!!!!! no more exams for tis yr ha ha ha holiday looo!!!! ha ha ha ah 2ml planning to go out with some of my friends coz 1 of them juz break up woth her bf so must console her ha ha ha c hw nice i am?

2day went to sch study not much happan only things is i was waiting for my friend's god sister to cum but she didnt may be i came late so like tat lor sad ......

so i start to study my DCCA too many things to remember sigh giving a headache nvm for the say of the exams i muct do my best.... my last exam for this semester... ha ha ha nothing more happen so i guess i stop here i be bck tml....

sat i went to durian theater's library at city hall to study but didnt study coz no place so switch to marina square mac to study i try to study but cant remanber the things so didnt really study much then sunday nvr study play video game the whole day and in the evening went out with jia he went to play pool 5 games i lost 3 games sad...

2day i study the whole day taking dwn notes for all the circuits that needed for the exam for me to remember..... when i finish copying its abt 5pm so i went to take a nap till 7pm watch tv till 8pm and went for my bath then go out for my dinner when i was on my way bck i past a comic shop i went in to c c look look then i saw the sales ass. a bit look lik my secondary friend but i didnt call her coz i cant confirm its really her ont so i juz look at her for a while i noe she saw me but i didnt call her scare pai sie if its not her then i mai loo ... nvm i 2ml after my 2nd exam i go and take a look at her again c wherther is her ont... kumbatae....

juz came bck from dinner there is someting in my mind tat keep troubling me and i dont noe why... why why.... is it tat keep me so troubled i still dont noe what's goin on in my head i think is the stress tat i am having coz 2ml is my maths exams i am a bit worry and i couldnt study nw i scare the more i study the more confuse i get...


why is marriage so important to everyone?

why do ppl use marriage to confirm their love to their other half?

if so then hw cum so many ppl having a divorce everyyear and everyday?

2day is not really my day sia 1st in the morining i went to sch my laptop hit the pathment the when i reach the library my friends say they not in sch they planning to stay at home study hw come they nvr inform me early i last nite msg them but they nvr reply so i tot they are goin to study 2day sian... so i went hm i went up the bus i forgot to scan my card damn pai sei after that i get off the bus at the mac there in amk i drop my hp really heart pain sia...

its not really my day......

in my mind i keep thinking of a gal that well she's a god sister of my friend Eric i dont noe wherther wan to tell him that i wan her no. so that i can chat with her... but i think better not coz i noe myself i will give her a bad impression better not no confidents in myself...

Do everyone who is in love have to put on a mask to cover their true self?

tis few day still dreaming abt the gal name shiling why is tis still continue i am very tried of it liao???

2day i nvr go to work coz i take off to rest and get myself ready for my exams on friday 15/10 hope i can cope with it ha ha ha so tml i will be goin bck to sch to study with my friends hope they cum early o i will be studying alone i hate to study alone i sure cant study 1...

today i went to queensway to buy my naruto display set vol 1 but they oready sold out so i didnt buy and also i saw my acc wao left $500 plus wat had happen to my rest fo my money so fast use up sad so if anybody who owns me money pls return bck to me coz i really need to save money.... for my future use...

i think i cant go out liao specially goin to genting coz i no money i still dont no where my money went i didnt spent so much on food o things i wan then where have it gone to???? i wonder???

still remember i told u abt my dream of my ex well nw from her change to the gal i use to lik but nomore coz i found out she always miao shi wo dont no why i do every thing she will scold other ppl did the same she nvr scold then why she always aiming at me why?

i remember when i was at aussie to do my training i call her ask her hw is she doing and u noe what i ended up been scolded for tat is not that i dont wan to call her is tat she always scolding me i had eough of her scolding...

i planning to c her again but i also scare of her scolding me again. but she should noe wat type of person i am as she should noe me for more than 10 yrs i did try to noe her more coz she is the 1 type i wish to have as my gf and my wife but i give up coz of her scoldings and my quietness....

i dont noe why after my ns i had been very quiet like i dont talk so much liao maybe because of my illness the type where ppl hide themselves alone dont talk to ppl Zi Bi Zhen...

what should i do to stop myself from doin this help me i scare i can get crazy after this

these few day i kept dreaming of my ex stead dont noe why i kept dreaming abt her i shld have forgotten her but why these few days i kept dreaming of her. i noe its impossible for us to patch bck frm what i have done to her and i also cant forgive abt myself for doin these thing to her till now i am scare of hurting another girl i want to have a relationship but at the same time i am scare..

jia he wan me to be happy he always ask to find a girlfriend so that i wouldnt be lonely i noe he wans me to be happy but i cant i am scare unless these is a girl who is willing to accept me and willing to help me to change my habits but ha ha ha... there isnt any girl willing to do so the 1st impression i give them will scare them away... ha ha ha so i dont think i can get a girlfriend o a wife before the age of 30....

is not that i dont wan to change is that i cant do it on my own i must have someone who i love to help me and willing to accept me as what i am then i will do my best to change for her.. i dont wan to have someone willing to be my girlfriend juz to pitty me... i dont like