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Today is the saddest day of my working days… just come back from MC and kanna so bombing from the vendor… But all these were small mistakes that we made and now they wanted to push the blame to us… Come to that actually is my fault I should have sent the vendor the things that she wanted earlier…because that is where I remember but now is like I forgotten most of it already and also mixed up with other things very confusing.

Now because of that mistake I made causes someone to stay back late to help me check through my work… I guess I not good at prefect thing or should I say lessen the minor mistake and increase the effectiveness of the work so that can cut down working time and more work to be done…

I have been thinking a lot on my way home and even I put on my earphone is like I never turn on the music just think of what I have been doing for the past 3 weeks on so. What am I doing? I should be working not passing out time and learn nothing?

Tomorrow is my last 2nd working day in Royal Sporting House. I don’t know whether to be happy or sad as I am leaving that place and going to the real working life… but I will still return to find my friends there to chat or meet for their meal breaks…

Still trying my best to chase the girl of my life even through I think I didn’t give much efforts but I will still try to do whatever I can and still thinking of a way to ask her to let me sent her home that is my first step…. Hope soon she will let me and then further more things and so on….

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Feeling headache and dizzy again… shit what to do? 2 days of MC and many plies of paper work to be done when I go back oh no hope when I go back… now in my mind all I can think of is her and what I can do is think of her… whenever I felt happy sad sick or stress I will think of her. Her face, her smile, her character which brings light to my dark heart and let me feel the warm again that I ever felt 2 years ago… she doesn’t know that I am sick.. Why she doesn’t know because to me I don’t want her to know as I don’t want her to think I am weak. I wanted to be strong in front of her and active but I don’t know why when in front of her I just kept quiet and kept looking at her when she talks to others is like I become another person which no one will understand why nor me… when I was with the rest if them I don’t feel like that but very happy person and funny guy… why is there two different types of personality in me the quiet type and the funny type?


I have a ring which I hope if she really can wear it as my girlfriend…..

Hope tomorrow I feel better…

and wish she will be mine...

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Hi it has been quite some time since I last wrote my blog.

This few weeks I having shoulder pain... My left shoulder muscle giving me a lot of pain I don’t know why but maybe is because I stress too much on the computer that my shoulder muscle starts to stress... hope tomorrow will be better I know on Friday I nearly cried due to the pain but now a bit better just that when apply a bit of pressure the pain will start…

Then come to the girl I like… I don’t know because I too stressing myself to find topics to talk to but like I was all the way very quiet like yesterday we are at the kopitam talking and my friends were disturbing her and with one of my friends cause both of them talks a lot to each other… so I was sitting there quietly listening to them then I was like a bit jealous because they were like quite close to each other and I was like thrown to a corner just listening to my friends making fun of them… my mood swing as I listen but I acted like nothing happen because I don’t want to spoilt their mood and also most of them doesn’t know that I like her… when at about 11+ we went home I took the train she too but on a different directions with my other friends so I went home on the way walking back I message her asking her have she reach home yet… and at the same time I message my friend who know that I like her… telling him that I think I and her doesn’t click with each other as most of them seem like she was better with my other friend who was being teased. I was very upsad... I went home took a quick bath and went to bed as I couldn’t take it anymore plus my shoulder starts to give me problems again throughout the night I was awake as I kept thinking of her… but I manage to fell asleep… the only thing that I really can see is in my dreams which I dream of me and her going out enjoying the things that we have done…. These afternoon when I was at work, and which I found out that she now doesn’t have any feeling for me nor anyone. As she is now not ready for any relationship plus maybe because I was rushing her but I am trying my best not to rush her and at the same time I was scare to loose her…….. HOW AND WHAT CAN I DO?

I don’t want to loose her and at the same time I don’t want to rush her but I wish on my birthday that day she can be my girlfriend as my birthday present I wont ask for more as I know what happen to my last relationship so I wouldn’t not do it again this time if she really become my girlfriend…

AM I REALLY STUPID? Even my best friend said I am a bit stupid in relationship? But do I really that weak in relationship? I wanted to have a girlfriend but ended up breaking up due to our character? I don’t want to have this kind of thing happen again as I am in very big pain due to this…. When I am in a relationship I will give her what I can give to make her happy and do the things which couple do to love each other this is my character… I hope she is the one I love and mean for each other…

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It been quite some time I stop writing… hi how have u been lately… miss my broken English sentences, with the all the stupid English words I made up with haha… lately I have been very busy cause I just started working full time at a Japanese company.. It an office hour timing but mostly doing circuitry checking from the A3 size paper… woa very eye stressing job haha… also lately I have been very fond to a girl who I got feelings for her but only thing is I don’t know how to woo her.. How? Very headache as I am working whole day only chance of meeting her is at 1 place that I have been there for about 3 years le and she was there recently about 2 to 3 month already…

I really like her but I don’t know whether she has feelings for me or not… It has been quite some times for me to have feeling for a girl… So I wish she really have feelings for me… I did ask her whether I can sent her home as I can took this time to be alone with her… but her reply is she wont want me to sent her home as she say it wasn’t fair for the other guys if she allows me to sent her home… then I ask her how many guys are there who are in the competition with me… her reply …… guess what she reply?? Haha she never reply me… haha… but I guess there is many other guys chasing after her… she so pretty and beautiful no wonder she say must give other the same chance… well no matter what I am going to give her everything I can to make her happy…

Recently I having problems in my left ear… there have been echo when I listen to music or talking to people… don’t know whether will it heal or not… plus due to the work i have been working late and then lack of sleep very tired sad… but my first targeted wish is her I wanted her to be my girlfriend that is the first step and I hope before my birthday she can be my girlfriend… but I don’t really want to rush things as I scare the more I rush the more she don’t have feelings for me… but at the same time I scare if I took a long time she will be taken by other guys….. How do I really do so that she has feeling for me? How I really wanted her to be my girlfriend?