The days of my life starting from 11 - 17 Feb.
11 Feb ‘07
I was studying for Tuesday’s paper then suddenly I wanted to pass the Chinese New Year card and valentines’ day card to Wanying so I started to write the card and also my blog that day asking whether can patch back. Then Jiahe called asking my whether I can met him for dinner so I agreed and ask him to met me at Wanying’s house. Then when I reach her house I gave her a message telling her that I sent a new year card to her and asking her whether she is free to met me on eve of Chinese New Year to watch the fire works but in the end she reply NO and telling me not to put or sent any more cards to her. From this I know what the answer to my question is, I felt very upset walking to the opposite to find Jiahe as I was walking I have the pain and wanted to cry but I kept holding on telling me not to drop a tear. And I really tried real hard not to drop but I did drop a tear which no one notices it. When I met Jiahe I act as nothing happen because I always act strong in front as I don’t want to let people say I am weak as Jiahe always say I am weak in relationship which is true so that’s why I acted strong. The cut left me a strong fear which I don’t know if I can heal the wound. From this I tell myself if I am weak at relationship why not I make myself strong in other things like work and health. Now I don’t care of relationship as I really need to settle the problems in front of me which am money problems and finding jobs. I told myself must help my mom in the money problem then think of other later.
14 Feb ‘07
30 minutes after midnight a phone call rang and I heard is my uncle call as he told me that my grandfather passed away. I tried not to think about this as I have to concentrate on my last paper on Thursday so I didn’t think much but study hard for my paper.
15 Feb ’07
After my paper I planning to go Temple Street with my classmate to pray and buy New Year clothing then in the evening go find my cousins and go Malaysia together but he called me in the afternoon and say they will be going at about 3pm so I say farewell to my friends and went home to get ready. At about 330pm I got the call from one of my cousin and he told me to wait for him at the post office in Ang Mo Kio after that we went back to his home at Yishun and left his house 15 minutes later with his sister the 3 of us went straight from Singapore Custom all the way to my uncle’s house at Kulai with out stopping as Malaysia was getting more and more dangerous for Singaporeans so the only time we stop is where we were at MacDonald waiting for my uncle’s friend to pick us up and bring us to my uncle’s house as we don’t know how to get there. After reaching my uncle’s house everyone was there my mom, my dad my brother and all my mother side’s relatives are all there. We were the last to reach due to the jam near the Malaysia’s custom. Then we started to change to the clothing which is all blue in colour, we then started praying till about midnight. Then my uncle went out to buy supper for everyone, at about 330am everyone was asleep except my brother and 3 of my little cousins as they were playing mahjong. My two cousins went to the car to sleep as I find a spot near the coffin where my grandfather lays and sleep there.
16 Feb ‘07
I was woke up by my mother as she was burning joy stick (Chinese call Xiang). Then my little cousin saw me sleeping besides the coffin and asked me do I not afraid sleeping next to it. I told him that who lies in the coffin is our grandfather why must I be afraid of it. I should be happy because this will be my last time sleeping next to him and I wouldn’t have anymore chance looking at his face, talk with him and asked him to bring me around in Peneng. The last time I saw my grandfather was 2 years back before I met my recent ex girlfriend. I regret that I never chat with him much and didn’t take photo with him. Now I don’t have chance anymore not even see him in the coffin sleeping, on that day where we were pushing the van where the coffin lies in there I told myself not to cry must be strong as I don’t want my little cousins to cry so I hold on at the same time telling my grandfather that I will take good care of my mother because he really care much for her. Every time he got problems he will call my mother this time my mother couldn’t hear his voice again. When we reach the cemetery I saw the coffin in there and this time my little cousin cried so I hugged her and told her that our grandfather didn’t wants to see us crying when he left. At the same time I was controlling myself not to drop a tear must be strong. After the funeral, everyone went back to my uncle’s house to rest then at about 5pm we went to have our dinner before we went back to Singapore. My brother and I took my cousin’s car where I took their car together to Malaysia and back to Singapore. This is the end of the funeral.
17 Feb ’07
Nothing really happen just that everyone wake up late and then I left the house at about 9pm to meet Jiahe and his wife at marina square to watch the fireworks. At 12 midnight the firework starts. It lasted for 10 minutes at the same time I asked myself why I always watch the fireworks alone with out a partner. And also wish my grandfather up there a happy Chinese New Year hope he saw the fireworks. Then from there we went to Chinatown to buy bamboo this is saw Hou Xiang and his friends I wish him and left as we were in the middle of the crowd so have to move fast. After buying the bamboo and a bag for Jiahe’s wife we left and went back home.
18 Feb ’07
Same nothing really happen or go anyone’s house I met Jiahe, his wife, his sister and his sister’s husband we went to KTV and movie after that went home that’s all.
As I was writing about my grandfather I really cried I really let go everything and cried. I tried but can’t hold on so I just let go from that Sunday till the day my grandfather buried. I really want someone to hold onto but I think this is faith that I can’t have a girlfriend to share the things with…..
11 Feb ‘07
I was studying for Tuesday’s paper then suddenly I wanted to pass the Chinese New Year card and valentines’ day card to Wanying so I started to write the card and also my blog that day asking whether can patch back. Then Jiahe called asking my whether I can met him for dinner so I agreed and ask him to met me at Wanying’s house. Then when I reach her house I gave her a message telling her that I sent a new year card to her and asking her whether she is free to met me on eve of Chinese New Year to watch the fire works but in the end she reply NO and telling me not to put or sent any more cards to her. From this I know what the answer to my question is, I felt very upset walking to the opposite to find Jiahe as I was walking I have the pain and wanted to cry but I kept holding on telling me not to drop a tear. And I really tried real hard not to drop but I did drop a tear which no one notices it. When I met Jiahe I act as nothing happen because I always act strong in front as I don’t want to let people say I am weak as Jiahe always say I am weak in relationship which is true so that’s why I acted strong. The cut left me a strong fear which I don’t know if I can heal the wound. From this I tell myself if I am weak at relationship why not I make myself strong in other things like work and health. Now I don’t care of relationship as I really need to settle the problems in front of me which am money problems and finding jobs. I told myself must help my mom in the money problem then think of other later.
14 Feb ‘07
30 minutes after midnight a phone call rang and I heard is my uncle call as he told me that my grandfather passed away. I tried not to think about this as I have to concentrate on my last paper on Thursday so I didn’t think much but study hard for my paper.
15 Feb ’07
After my paper I planning to go Temple Street with my classmate to pray and buy New Year clothing then in the evening go find my cousins and go Malaysia together but he called me in the afternoon and say they will be going at about 3pm so I say farewell to my friends and went home to get ready. At about 330pm I got the call from one of my cousin and he told me to wait for him at the post office in Ang Mo Kio after that we went back to his home at Yishun and left his house 15 minutes later with his sister the 3 of us went straight from Singapore Custom all the way to my uncle’s house at Kulai with out stopping as Malaysia was getting more and more dangerous for Singaporeans so the only time we stop is where we were at MacDonald waiting for my uncle’s friend to pick us up and bring us to my uncle’s house as we don’t know how to get there. After reaching my uncle’s house everyone was there my mom, my dad my brother and all my mother side’s relatives are all there. We were the last to reach due to the jam near the Malaysia’s custom. Then we started to change to the clothing which is all blue in colour, we then started praying till about midnight. Then my uncle went out to buy supper for everyone, at about 330am everyone was asleep except my brother and 3 of my little cousins as they were playing mahjong. My two cousins went to the car to sleep as I find a spot near the coffin where my grandfather lays and sleep there.
16 Feb ‘07
I was woke up by my mother as she was burning joy stick (Chinese call Xiang). Then my little cousin saw me sleeping besides the coffin and asked me do I not afraid sleeping next to it. I told him that who lies in the coffin is our grandfather why must I be afraid of it. I should be happy because this will be my last time sleeping next to him and I wouldn’t have anymore chance looking at his face, talk with him and asked him to bring me around in Peneng. The last time I saw my grandfather was 2 years back before I met my recent ex girlfriend. I regret that I never chat with him much and didn’t take photo with him. Now I don’t have chance anymore not even see him in the coffin sleeping, on that day where we were pushing the van where the coffin lies in there I told myself not to cry must be strong as I don’t want my little cousins to cry so I hold on at the same time telling my grandfather that I will take good care of my mother because he really care much for her. Every time he got problems he will call my mother this time my mother couldn’t hear his voice again. When we reach the cemetery I saw the coffin in there and this time my little cousin cried so I hugged her and told her that our grandfather didn’t wants to see us crying when he left. At the same time I was controlling myself not to drop a tear must be strong. After the funeral, everyone went back to my uncle’s house to rest then at about 5pm we went to have our dinner before we went back to Singapore. My brother and I took my cousin’s car where I took their car together to Malaysia and back to Singapore. This is the end of the funeral.
17 Feb ’07
Nothing really happen just that everyone wake up late and then I left the house at about 9pm to meet Jiahe and his wife at marina square to watch the fireworks. At 12 midnight the firework starts. It lasted for 10 minutes at the same time I asked myself why I always watch the fireworks alone with out a partner. And also wish my grandfather up there a happy Chinese New Year hope he saw the fireworks. Then from there we went to Chinatown to buy bamboo this is saw Hou Xiang and his friends I wish him and left as we were in the middle of the crowd so have to move fast. After buying the bamboo and a bag for Jiahe’s wife we left and went back home.
18 Feb ’07
Same nothing really happen or go anyone’s house I met Jiahe, his wife, his sister and his sister’s husband we went to KTV and movie after that went home that’s all.
As I was writing about my grandfather I really cried I really let go everything and cried. I tried but can’t hold on so I just let go from that Sunday till the day my grandfather buried. I really want someone to hold onto but I think this is faith that I can’t have a girlfriend to share the things with…..
