Depression again, again and again.... why i keep having depression why? i have friends that made me happy... a family that cares for me... a best friend who knows how i feel... just only thing is no girlfriend...

so no girlfriend so what doesn't make any different or does make a different to me?
I told myself that i have lost the key to my heart... unless there is special someone out there who has the key that i have lost... i hope that special person is the 1 in my heart now... i can't help myself thinking of her... but does she know that i am thinking of her? well this have to ask her?

who is that special person i wont tell unless she lets me... but i wish to keep it a secret as to protect her... this is all i can do is protect her and see her from far...

Just now while i was in the bus, listening to my mp3. The tears just came down from my eyes i dont know what happen it just came down... Maybe because i kept telling myself that falling in love wasn't my cup of tea. I think due to that tears start coming down luck i was sitting way behind the double deck bus...

People keep telling me to work hard forget about relationship it hard to have a relationship specially when I like somebody and that somebody doesn't like me ( 1 sided Love) and also if i was in a relationship i may have the hard time maintaining it...

i dont care what people say to me but I myself want to be love by someone and love the special someone no matter hard it was i will go through it and face it.. This is part of the test for love even through i have fail the last relationship but i hope the upcoming one i will MAKE IT HAPPEN!! WITH HER IN MY MIND I WILL MAKE IT

these few days i have been thinking a lot of things that make me very confusing. So Saturday mymum and I went to a place to ask about the future and things that will happen soon. my mum ask about her health and work, for me work and relationship. things turn out a good scolding by the person who help me look through. HAHA!





Last monday went to the BBQ and celebrate meiling's birthda... the BBQ is held at east coast park we had a lot of things to eat but mostly are the same lke all other BBQ stuff... i took a lot of picture that day... but i love this picture most

me and her

haha just edited hope she doesn't saw this picture.... i do know whether want to tell her this or not as i want to give her my best but there is 1 thing that stop me that was the CONFIDENTS... when i was too confidents things turn out bad for me so i don't know will it happen to me again this time round when it really happen.... 1 more thing is that i don't know if she still like that guy that i read in her blog. And as for my work well have to work even harder now to maintain it till there is a chance.

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It been a tired long week, I been planning to take up a short courses but on Friday I went there and found out that the course already full. Then Thursday got flu so very hard to concentrate on work lucky I took leave on Friday. Wednesday, after work went to marina south for steamboat which I intend not to go but ended up going, have a bit of fun and left early as I need to wake up early for work.

There are some friends who ask me: Do I know what love is? I can tell truly tell them NO. Because I long lost the feelings of love so I don’t know what is the feeling like all I can tell myself try not to like someone unless she can tell me that she likes me if not I wont open up my heart to any girls, anyway I not really handsome so I don’t think there is any girls who will tell me those things haha.

Recently I have been scold by my neighbor. You all will think did I do something wrong that make her angry well I just ask her is her mum ok as there is 1 morning when I was heading to the staircase I saw her mum I was surprise that I her mum suddenly look so skinny. Maybe because I long time never saw her mum so that is why I ask her how’s her mum doing? She just scold me not to be a busybody and tell me that my mum is skinny too and then from there I don’t want to talk much as I felt stupid to care about my neighbor ended up been scolded by them. Is it because I was working in MLM so I have to get this kind of scolding this is stupid? I join MLM is not to work there but to make friends, I just want to make my friends circle bigger that all, why does it have to be so difficult? Why is it that I want to make friends be so difficult?

I DON’T LIKE TO FORCE PEOPLE TO BUY THE PRODUCTS AS I KNOW WHAT MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY STATES ARE…. I just want to make friends that’s all, I don’t like to be pressure as I already quite feel the pressure in my work place so I just want to relax when I’m meeting friends. Sorry friends who are working in MLM as I just want to make friends that’s all and not just sit there talking and most of the talk is who did who sales or promoted and got a car. I think this is not what I really want and as for the gathering well is the same talking about work. Sorry guys who is reading this but this is what I want just to make friends that’s my motive nothing else….