hi it been quite some time aready

today i jus goin to sae happy birthday to myself coz its 13 july thats my birthday. Happy 25th birthday to me.

last year i celebrated with my gf now as we aready broke up so i celebrate with my best frienda and his wife we went to watch movie and had dinner at kenny roger in Great wrold city. i was quite happy but at the same time sad because its not a double date its me as a Lamp post to them on my brithday. quite sad isnt it, i didnt make any birthday wish nor blow candle. anyway they made a wish for me and that is to find a good gf to celebrate nxt year together with them. i hope it comes true. but hope wont come true if i am like this.

i now lost my feelings i dont know what is heart pain what is sad how does it feels when i see someone i like. in the past i do felt my heart beat faster when i saw someone i like but now its like emptiness in my heart. there is 1 time i cut myself while cutting some thing and it bleeds, but i didnt feel the pain i was jus look at the cut and then wash the wounds thats all.


may be i can make my wish here and that is " I want to feel what really Loving that special someone and that special someone loves me back feels like" i want to feel that fast beating heart beat again but not the heart attack type but the feeling of love type.

i guess this wish wont be coming for the nxt million years